


Smeeby hell

by Lbely



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: F/F, Fpreg, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Smeeby, Smeets (Invader Zim), TAGR, Unplanned Pregnancy, ZaDr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24317959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lbely/pseuds/Lbely
Summary: (The title was last minute and based off a joke from what I call my comics)I wrote this at like...3AM out of boredom, due to my smeeby au being popular (on my account anyway) on Instagram so I kinda sorta...wrote a fanfic that took some elements from a couple of the comics I also wrote...Anyway time for the actual summary?Even though the first paragraph kinda sort of—oh well time to rewrite.“ Years of fighting, complications, getting through all the skools, alien invasion attempts, mental issues and more. All somehow led to Dib and Gaz Membrane marrying aliens and attempting to live a normal, peaceful live on Earth.About as normal as it can be.Especially with a few new surprises on the way...”Pro ZaDr and TaGr, irkens are hermaphrodites here.Probably should mention that Dib and Gaz are part irken Incase of future chapters-
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz/Tak (Invader Zim)
Kudos: 27





	Smeeby hell

Smeeby hell chap 1

Years of fighting, complications, getting through all the skools, alien invasion attempts, mental issues and more. All somehow led to Dib and Gaz Membrane marrying aliens and attempting to live a normal, peaceful live on Earth. 

About as normal as it can be.

Zim wanted to surprise his husband. He knew that rarely anything surprises his Dib anymore not even almost dying! Dib at this point can shrug off just as much as his scary sister...and that’s saying a lot... Zim was scrolling through the channels on television while Gir and Minimoose were out of Zim’s base and the Dib was at work...Zim was alone... Well actually there was Zim’s computer who was currently trolling filthy humans on the internet for “funzies.” And then Zim flipping through channels faster than Gir changes thought process stumbled on a fertility ad. 

Because those exist 

Zim didn’t flip the channel.

For Zim had a brilliant amazing wonderful idea and all it would take was some clever hacking...and a mildly horny Dib.

***

I, Dib Membrane didn’t expect to wake up to this level of weirdness.

And that’s saying something 

“ZIM’S PREGONATE!” Shouted Zim jumping me as I was sleeping in, he landed right dead on my chest nearly winding me.

“...what?” I opened my eyes and attempted to clearly see the blurry figure, Zim wearing my alien tee I assumed due to the color of the mass and weight...oh and voice.

“Zim’s bearing your smeet! See?!” And like that my face collided with a used positive pregnancy test gross-

Wait

“WHAT?!” I got my glasses shoved onto my face and blinked, there was a green smiley face and behind that was Zim’s green smiling face positively beaming while holding the positive test in front of me...

“You see ZIM wanted to give my Dib a wonderful amazing SURPRISE! So a month ago Zim hacked into the empire data banks again and discovered some classified information that Zim can bear a smeet with a simple intake of the Dib’s DN-

“This can’t be happening.”

“Aren’t you happy that Zim’s bearing your sme-“

“NO!” I shot up in bed now, fully awakened by the news that I had just received. Zim falling off my chest into my lap.

Zim recoiled, the bright smile on his face dimming... “You’re supposed to be a good surprised...”

Oh I was surprised alright, but definitely not a good one.

“OH I AM SURPRISED! PLEASE TELL ME THAT THIS IS A JOKE—Wait we didn’t even have actual sex yet! You’re messing with me.” I assumed and assured, ignoring all the hickey’s littering my covered up body... We never actually preformed intercourse because Zim somehow learned what STDs were and doesn’t trust my dick. His words not mine.

Zim was frowning now, not in an angry way in a...disappointed way... he hopped off and walked out the room...silently...

It was so unnatural that my skin crawled...

I let my thoughts wander for a moment to what Zim said about wanting to surprise me... Technically, if he’s just messing with me it’s still a surprise! He has to be messing with me.

Has to be.

Later after actually getting out of the bed I was greeted by a another slap to the face but this time with more words! “Congrats on becoming a pitiful father.” Zim’s computer bluntly stated as confetti assaulted my face, and I mean assaulted.

“Ow!”

That was strike one

“I’M GETTIN A BABY BROTHA!” Gir was running on the walls tracking what was hopefully mud or chocolate for the umpteenth time this week... Now thinking about it Zim did seem almost too tired to even clean up after Gir the other times and did state that the smell was making him sicker than usual...

Perhaps he wasn’t joking......

That was strike two

Minimoose flew past my head and assaulted my NOT big head with a shirt that says “I’m a daddy” in my exact size, it was not the type of shirt with the correct meaning.

And three strikes I’m out!

“Zim you WERE joking right?!” I returned the favor from this morning and jumped Zim while he was dunking a waffle in sterilized pickle juice. I began to have even more doubts that this was a joke... 

“Nope! Zim is bearing your smeet and that is TRUE AND FINALE!” He then proceeded to unhinge his jaw just to completely devour that entire waffle in one insane gulp...besides that I think he’s mildly pissed at me now...

Also I think my heart just stopped.

***

You’d think that being related to him would make me used to this. Dib was banging on my front door and I had just grabbed a soda from the fridge, I bet you’re wondering how I know that it’s my brother.

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ-“

I internally sighed and eternally groaned. It was a peaceful day, yes was, and for once I was the one to wake up early. Since my partner Tak was still asleep, I had to carefully maneuver out of the bed not to wake her which was very odd of her cause no matter what ether she woke up first or woke up the second I did, claiming that she did not need sleep regardless.

Speaking of sleep I think her claws dug into my skin a bit sometime during the night... Hoping that was just clinginess and not another nightmare.

The front door had finally opened cause the moron finally found the spare key, assuming that Gir ate his “emergencies only” one, or the spare spare.

Immediately Dib came up to me and slammed his hands down in front of me and shouted, “I KNOCKED UP MY BOYFRIEND!”

Didn’t expect to hear THAT today honestly, but I was still unsurprised that it happened. “Woooooooow I’m unsurprised.” For it was a never a matter of if, only a matter of when.

“WHAT?!”

Dib was careless, surely ether didn’t put the condom on right or didn’t use one at all and decided that pulling out was acceptable. All irkens are hermaphrodites so Tak and I were careful, she didn’t seem to know a lot about her own biology down there though and was very surprised for her first time.

Wait had she woken up yet? I remember her vaguely complaining of a stomach—well spooch ache yesterday, that combined with if she’s still sleeping...I should probably check on her after dealing with the problem at hand. “Well unlike you Dib, Tak and I used a condom so she wouldn’t get me pregnant.” Tak stated that she was sterile in both regards but I didn’t trust her male parts enough, after all something came out and that was enough proof for my case. Better safe than sorry.

“We didn’t preform intercourse though!”

I choked, definitely not expecting THAT answer...then again Zim’s a stubborn germaphobe and is stronger than my brother... “Then...then how?”

It was this day that I had learned more about irken reproduction, that all it took was any intake of DNA, it was the equivalent of pulling out apparently...and that I absentmindedly rubbed at a hickey that Tak had recently gave me...

How many times does a person have to “pull out” for a high chance of pregnancy...

•••

Waking up ill was not ideal...and I hardly felt as if I had slept at all...

I stumbled out of bed, no longer warmed due to the absence of Gazlene. A deep instinctual urge made me desire to lay in her arms currently...protected, although I am perfectly capable of protecting myself. MiMi looked at me worriedly sensing my distress. I mildly told her that I was still waking up...I had started feeling a bit faint as I walked out of the room to look for Gazlene, but couldn’t dwell on it for overwhelming nausea decided to quickly conquer my body. Barely remembering how my legs worked I ran to the bathroom just making it on time before I started dry heaving, my spooch ached with it’s empty attempt of ridding contents it did not possess... eventually nothing but acid came out, I had thought that my digestive functions were disabled for the time being as I had not eaten for awhile but apparently not the case... after a few minutes of lying there I could hear MiMi speaking to me. 

“M’lady are you alright? Should I retrieve Gazlene?” I gave her a quick signal to pause, as I slowly stood up. Fearing that if I looked at what came out of me the cycle would start again. I simply flushed, washed and grabbed my toothbrush. I desired Gazlene, but I did not want to bother her, suppressing my desires I signaled MiMi that I was alright. MiMi hesitantly looked at me then wandered off, but despite what I had just claimed something did feel off...

Must be a parasite. I thought, grimacing a small bit at such a thought. Suddenly Gazlene came running in shutting the door behind her and demanding to know of my wellbeing, I told her the truth and my thoughts...she paled and looked down at my midsection and made the strangest comment... “Yeah...it’s probably a bug alright...in your stomach...”

“So a parasite then?” I then proceeded to correct her on the stomach part on impulse.

“Tak...are you sure you’re sterile?” That was a strange thing to ask of me...

“Yes...that is what they told us. We are simply told that we are above the means of basic reproduction...why do you ask...?” I was genuinely confused, I did not know why she was asking such a trivial thing...

“...Zim’s pregnant.” I was not expecting THAT today...wait what’s ‘pregnant?’

“He’s what?”

“Yeah Dib knocked him up but they’ve never had full on sex cause Zim would claw him to death or something or threaten to bite him too hard or whatever freaky shit they do!” Gazlene was starting to visibly freak out, she was scaring me and not in a good way- “And now apparently he knocked him up with a hickey! Tak do you know what this probably means-“

“Just spit it out Gazlene I do not.”

“TAK YOU MIGHT BE PREGNANT!”

...? I tilted my head to the side “...Pardon?”

“Please tell me you know what means...” I shook my head.

And she explained...

My body froze up and time felt as if it stopped

I had instinctively moved my hand down to my midsection, now obviously there was nothing of a noticeable change quite yet but I let the thought sink in...

And screamed.

From outside the door the boys were ease dropping and Dib’s glasses comedically shattered, hysterically just as my body had hit the floor. Had I just happened to start feeling lightheaded again? Or rather was this due to me hearing such...surprising news... I do not know...for awhile all I heard were muffled concerns of my partner, muffled by my own thoughts. 

A smeet? How—how would I care for it? Of course I know enough about other species basic reproduction but not my own! No irken possesses enough knowledge! Will they turn out okay? What if they perish inside my body? What if I perish? Is there only one? Please tell me there’s only on-

My spooch growled and the ache was back, and so was I, back to reality. “Can...” Gazlene rushed to me and asked what I wanted, what she could do for me. While her mind was on my health mine was on my hunger. “Can you make me waffles with ice cream, eggs and ketchup I’m famished...”

“...”

“And with extra whipped cream?” I added a small plea right after. Gazlene stared at me as if I grew another head.

I was eating as if I’ve never eaten before. And due to that Gazlene worried more...

“Oh yeah she’s definitely pregnant.” Dib added. He was lucky that I was preoccupied or else he would be suffering, I noticed that Gazlene glanced a glare toward him, making him shut his stupid mouth as Zim in his arms held onto him tighter. Eventually I finished whatever that was supposed to be cause I kept adding more and more to it that it no longer even resembled being a breakfast...or appetizing. To those but me anyway.

Honestly ‘pregnant’ or not after all of that I would probably appear a bit so... “So...I’m having Gazlene’s smeet?...Okay.” I spoke quietly and calmly...

“HOW ARE YOU TAKING THIS SO WELL?!” I was startled by her shout, Gazlene recoiled with the fearful look on my face. She stared at me for what felt like an eternity...

“Well what’s done is done and it’s yours...” I didn’t know why, but the sudden thought of Gazlene and I creating a new life was...pleasant to me. Don’t get me wrong I have my concerns but what’s important is that this is a part of her and me it’s-

“Maybe we can abort it somehow?” It was a whisper, but despite it being so I heard it and couldn’t contain myself.

“NO!” I had slammed my fists down on the table and stood up. Everyone around me jumped, Zim was in Dib’s arms no longer telling his future smeet to be tall and Dib protectively held him closer...I cleared my throat. “I want...to keep it...” I avoided her stunning amber eyes, tears welling up in mine, I was already emotional but who wouldn’t be in this situation...? MiMi came up to me—as a cat and resumed her favorite resting place, around my neck. She rubbed my shoulder with her tail attempting to put me at ease...

“Okay...” was the quiet response I had received Gazlene... “It’s your choice.” The boys left us to our business and Gazlene bought a couple of tests for me to take.

Awhile later four out of five tests were positive.

This will be an interesting and stressful year of our lives...and that’s saying a lot.

**Author's Note:**

> (Hope this all looks okay I write using an iPad and old iPhone...)
> 
> I finally posted it...I say to all my followers from Instagram that actually came here to reeead this...whoop.
> 
> How long until I regret th-
> 
> Idk if I’ll continue it, however! I do draw fanart and comics of the “smeebys” on my Instagram @ Pokelbely tag # Smeeby
> 
> (And also my DeviantArt I don’t use, but it’s the same username as this site. I didn’t tag anything though so good luck there.)
> 
> Anyway I’m not the best writer out there buuuut I did work kinda hard on this one...
> 
> hope you enjoyed regardless:3


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